Well, good morning to you too, Ed.

You're useless. You're flabby and dimpled and the skin on your back folds into itself when you roll over in bed. Who could like that? Who would ever find that attractive? How about you don't eat today ... just get up and have your shower and then start doing stuff so you don't think about missing breakfast. Ooooor, since you're too pathetic and lack the necessary will power to starve yourself why don't you eat a BIG breakfast instead. Make some hot cereal to start, then have some toast, a few eggs (isn't there bacon in the freezer?) after that you can have some yogurt, a fruity drink and some of that giant chocolate bar on the fridge. Yeah, do THAT! A binge suits your shape more than starving does. You're not worth starving ...

These are the crazy contradictory messages Ed gives me. Starve yourself, gorge yourself, starve yourself, no ... gorge yourself. So, today Ed wants me to focus on all the parts of me that are bigger than they should (could) be ... and eat in an unhealthy way. To be in recovery I will need to put positive messages into my brain and choose to eat proper meals, at proper times. I will need to listen to my body and respect it when it says its full. (or hungry)