Well, I did it. I took my purse to ladies time today. And I used it at the bank when I went to withdraw money from the teller. I placed it right up on the teller's desk and tried to make it all seem quite natural. If people knew what was going on in my head, most of the time they would think I was nuts. But I know I'm not nuts ... just broken. And slowly God is transforming my broken-ness into beauty.
In study today we learned about the story of Jonathan's son Mephibosheth. Mephibosheth's father and grandfather (the king) had just been killed and because he was next in line for the throne his caretakers feared for his life. His nanny picked him up and ran away with him. As she ran in fear she fell and crippled the young boy. This changed the course of his life forever. He lived in Lo Debar -- a land that was barren and could produce no fruit. An outcast. I can't describe the whole story and all the little intricate details that stood out to me today ... but I was seeing myself so clearly in the character of Mephibosheth. Crippled as a youngster because I ran in fear - trying to protect myself. Completely unaware of my covenant partner (and I WAS in covenant with the Lord way back then). But I didn't understand the depth and meaning of all that came with that 'covenant'.
I am beginning to learn of it now. And it makes me weep in awe of what I have been given in this covenant and how faithful God is to this binding agreement. Even when I am not faithful, HE IS FAITHFUL. There are always consequences of my faithlessness. But God is true to his word and gracious to me in my weakness.
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