Thursday, September 9, 2010
heart sick
I came to realize last night that I am heart sick about what is happening at our church and what it will mean for our future there. I am already grieving the loss of fellowship and connection. Ed tried to get me to numb myself with food so I wouldn't have to feel this pain ... and I desperately wanted not to feel. But I chose to embrace the hurt and let the tears come. They would eventually find their way out and so I decided to skip the shaming step of binging in between. In the book Hinds Feet the shepherd chose two companions to accompany Much Araid on her journey to the high places. They were Sorrow and Suffering. I am coming to see that He has chosen those same companions for me. Though it hurts to hold their hands, I need them if I am to reach the high places and be forever changed from Much Araid into Grace and Glory.
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Amy, I am so proud of you. Skipping the shaming step of bingeing IS living the recovery and freedom you are seeking. God gave us tears to be cried and to keep us from depression. You are making it. Keep on, I'll be praying for more victory.
ReplyDeleteI got this book for my birthday, I hope to read it soon but right now I'm still getting used to school starting up, it's exhausting! Love you.
1 Peter 1:7 (New Living Translation)
ReplyDeleteThese trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.